Back in March of 2020, when the world as we knew it came to a screeching halt, I started writing verses and thoughts in a beautiful notebook a friend gave me for Christmas. It started with random verses that were coming up in other daily readings, and it eventually contained verses from most of the book of Psalms. At the time, it was just a way to stay in the Word of God on a daily basis, but as the year progressed and life did not return to normal, this daily discipline was a balm for my soul. And as the last week of October closed out a month of heartbreaking and life-altering events in my own little corner of the world, those verses that I had written out and the truths that I gleaned each day about the sovereignty of my Lord became the rock I clung to as the waves of life keep crashing in on all sides.
If there is one theme or truth that I have been brought back to since March 13, 2020, it is that I am never safer, more content, more at peace, more filled with hope, than when I am resting in the sovereignty of God Almighty. If 2020 has not proven that we are not in control of our lives, much less the world around us, or the captain of our own destinies, than I don’t know what will. When I accept the truths of Psalm 139:16 that I do not number my days, combined with the promises of Christ in Matthew 6:25-34 that I do not have to be anxious, I have a foundation for rest and peace in world that is weary with despair and hopelessness.
In Psalm 27:1-2, David declares, “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” In Psalm 62:1-2, David says, “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.” David knew he would face things he could not face alone, goodness, he was writing many of these Psalms in the midst of deadly circumstances. But David still trusted in the sovereignty and the steadfast love of his God. Look at his words in Psalm 63:5-8 while he is hiding in the wilderness…”My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”
Christ is my light in this darkness. He is my North Star, the One who leads me by still waters and places boundaries around me with His rod and His staff to keep me safe in His presence. Christ alone is my salvation. No one in this world, no matter how much power or intellect they may possess, can save me from death in this life or in eternity. God alone numbers my days. God is my strength. Nothing I do is apart from His strength in me through the presence of His Holy Spirit and He alone is my fortress surrounding me with His love, grace, and mercy.
Honestly, as frustrating as 2020 has been, no part of it truly prepared my heart for this past month of October. It has been heart-wrenching to say the least, and most definitely life-altering. Lives, families, and futures have been forever changed this month. But one truth remains, God is still on His throne and He is still sovereign over all. Christ showed up in conversations filled with tears. He showed up in the hugs and prayers of friends. He showed up in the reading of His Word. He showed up in assurances of salvation. God gave joy and mercy through high school football victories and Homecoming memories. In the ordinary motions of daily life, Christ showed His extraordinary love for His children. Over and over and over.
“Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet will I be confident.” Psalm 27:3
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” Psalm 27:13-14
As we begin the month of November, a month normally filled with thoughts of thankfulness, I am more aware than ever that when life assails me, when fears and anxiety weigh heavy on me, when an uncertain future tries to rob me of my joy in Christ, when the world does all it can to try and dampen my faith…my heart will not fear because God is my cup and my portion. Though my heart and my life may fail me, God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26) In Him will I rejoice always because He is near and His peace surpasses all human understanding. (Philippians 4:4-8)
O, God, to you alone do I pray. To you alone do I cry out. It is your never-changing, never-ending love that I cling to when frustration and anger and sadness and grief threaten to overwhelm me. Those emotions roll over me like waves that will drag me under. But you hear my cry, you know the sounds of my tears, and you say, “Peace! Be still!” And there is a calmness that descends upon my soul. A peace that I cannot begin to fathom brings light to the deep darkness around me. What storm does not obey your voice? What fear does not flee in your presence? Bring me to your holy temple. Bring me to you. Let me sing with joy in the midst of sorrow. Let your praise me constantly on my lips. Let me rejoice in your refuge and protection. Oh, Lord, hear my groans and hear my songs of praise! Oh, Lord, hear my prayers.
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